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Wo gibt’s die schönsten “shoot yourself in the foot”-Sprüche?

Ich kenne aus alten Usenet-Zeiten die Sprüchesammlung “How to shoot yourself in the foot”; in Javascript ginge das etwa so:
this.gun.load.bullet (shoot, this)
Die beste Liste bekommt 10 Punkte und auf Wunsch ein Verbandspäckchen per Post, zum Fußverarzten.

    *
    Posted 1 year ago

    alwin, mach´kein scheiss, wir können doch über alles reden!

      *just me*
      Posted 1 year ago

      C
      You shoot yourself in the foot.

      C++
      You accidentally create a dozen clones of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since you can’t tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and saying, “That’s me, over there.”

      JAVA
      After importing java.awt.right.foot.* and java.awt.gun.right.hand.*, and writing the classes and methods of those classes needed, you’ve forgotten what the hell you’re doing.

      Ruby
      Your foot is ready to be shot in roughly five minutes, but you just can’t find anywhere to shoot it.

      PHP
      You shoot yourself in the foot with a gun made with pieces from 300 other guns.

      ASP.NET
      Find a gun, it falls apart. Put it back together, it falls apart again. You try using the .GUN Framework, it falls apart. You stab yourself in the foot instead.

      SQL
      SELECT @ammo:=bullet FROM gun WHERE trigger = ‘PULLED’;
      INSERT INTO leg (foot) VALUES (@ammo);

      Perl
      You shoot yourself in the foot, but nobody can understand how you did it. Six months later, neither can you. (via Andy)

      Javascript
      YOu’ve perfected a robust, rich user experience for shooting yourself in the foot. You then find that bullets are disabled on your gun.

      CSS
      You shoot your right foot with one hand, then switch hands to shoot your left foot but you realize that the gun has turned into a banana.

      FORTRAN
      You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you continue anyway because you have no exception-handling ability.

      Modula2
      After realizing that you can’t actually accomplish anything in this language, you shoot yourself in the head.

      COBOL
      Using a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place ARM.HAND.FINGER. on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be retied.

      LISP
      You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
      you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
      you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
      you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
      you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds ….

      BASIC
      Shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On big systems, continue until entire lower body is waterlogged.

      FORTH
      Foot in yourself shoot.

      APL
      You shoot yourself in the foot, then spend all day figuring out how to do it in fewer characters.

      Pascal
      The compiler won’t let you shoot yourself in the foot.

      SNOBOL
      If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot.
      If you fail, shoot yourself in the right foot.

      Concurrent Euclid
      You shoot yourself in somebody else’s foot.

      HyperTalk
      Put the first bullet of the gun into the foot of the left leg of you.
      Answer the result.

      Motif
      You spend days writing a UIL description of your foot, the trajectory, the bullet, and the intricate scrollwork on the ivory handles of the gun. When you finally get around to pulling the trigger, the gun jams.

      Unix
      % ls
      foot.c foot.h foot.o toe.c toe.o
      % rm * .o
      rm: .o: No such file or directory
      % ls
      %

      Paradox
      Not only can you shoot yourself in the foot, your users can too.

      Revelation
      You’ll be able to shoot yourself in the foot just as soon as you figure out what all these bullets are for.

      Visual Basic
      You’ll shoot yourself in the foot, but you’ll have so much fun doing it that you won’t care.

      Prolog
      You tell your program you want to be shot in the foot. The program figures out how to do it, but the syntax doesn’t allow it to explain.

      Ada
      After correctly packaging your foot, you attempt to concurrently load the gun, pull the trigger, scream and shoot yourself in the foot. When you try, however, you discover that your foot is of the wrong type.

      Assembly
      You try to shoot yourself in the foot only to discover you must first reinvent the gun, the bullet, and your foot. After that’s done, you pull the trigger, the gun beeps several times, then crashes.

      370 JCL
      You send your foot down to MIS with a 4000-page document explaining how you want it to be shot. Three years later, your foot comes back deep-fried.

      Python
      You try to shoot yourself in the foot but you just keep hitting the whitespace between your toes.

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